Have you ever tried to read another’ mind?
This week I was talking with one on my clients and he mentioned how he was overcoming the email wars in his office. His solution to the war was total surrender.
He decided that shooting emails back and forth was one of the biggest wastes of energy in his job. That doesn't mean he ignored the person sending the email. It dawned on him that he may be reading something into the email that may not be there. The scenario went like this; he receives what he believes to be a "tacky" email, reads in to the message that he is being attached and responds defensively. On and on this waste of personal and enterprise energy goes until he decides he is "setting the tone for both people."
Energy Performance Tip: Have you ever received an email and felt your heart begin to race and blood pressure rise? You and I both know that words on paper or in emails can be totally misunderstood. The problem is that we miss 70% of the most important part of communication - body language and tone. I like the genius in what my client said, "I was setting the tone for both people." In essence he was reading the mind and intention of the other person. In all of my years of business I have found that one of the biggest energy drains is to believe you know what another person is thinking. NO WAY! We will only know what another person means by asking questions. As my mentor told me, "People do things for their own reasons not for mine."
Solutions to mind reading emails or anything else:
- First solution- leaves it and gives yourself time to get an emotional grip.
- Second solution- give the person a call and clarify what is needed.
- Third solution - go by and talk to him or her in person.
"Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations." - Federico Fellini
"The quality of our expectations determines the quality of our action." - Andre Godin
"Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny."
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